Alternate Title: How to overcome negativity from others
Has somebody ever said something that rubbed you the wrong way?
I’d be willing to bet that’s happened to you before.
It’s happened to me on more than one occasion.
Let me start by saying that I have no patience for pettiness. It annoys me when I hear someone discount another person’s honest accomplishment.
I remember one time I was visiting a friend while her family was in town.
We were in the living room talking, and the topic of conversation drifted to a kid the family used to know.
This kid was very fat in high school, but then became jacked later in life.
During the conversation, I learned that this previously fat kid totally turned himself around.
His health, body, and life transformed in a big way, and he’s now a medical professional.
The young man in the story likely added many productive years to his life as a result of his hard work.
A guy sitting across the room blurted out, “He should have lifted in high school when it mattered.”
I couldn’t help but think, “Give me a fucking break, guy. You can’t be serious.”
This guy that made the comment is a husband and father, and totally discounted another man’s earnest accomplishment in front of his family.
Does this guy really think health doesn’t matter after high school?
A family man should make his health Priority Number One. His family depends on it.
I could have told him your health matters now more than ever. But, I didn’t feel entitled to correct his ignorance.
Besides, I knew what he was really saying.
What he really said was “I feel inadequate”.
Why am I telling you this story?
Because dear reader, as you embark on your journey of self-improvement, insecure people will try to hold you back.
They will try to bring you down with snide remarks, obscure questions, and even open hostility.
Men and women with terrible ‘diseases of attitude’ will try to infect you.
It’s very hard to break free from the clutches of negativity, but it can be done, and this post can help.
How to Overcome Negativity
Just turn on the T.V. and you’re bombarded with negativity.
The news is an outlet for wars, riots, killings, and shit-talking.
The easy solution to avoid this source of negativity is to cancel your cable service. I canceled cable four years ago and never looked back.
After you cut the cord, you still have to deal with the social media.
Smart people realized social media is a joke and stopped using it.
Luckily, it’s easy to avoid morons on social media. Log off and never log on again.
Some negativity is easily avoidable. However, things can get tricky at home and at work.
How to Deal with Negativity from Family and Friends
Even at home you can’t let your guard down.
A classic example of this is when women lose weight.
As her clothes get looser her ‘big but beautiful’ friends and relatives tell her she’s “too skinny”.
We could unpack why people, including loved ones, try to slow your roll.
But, I found it best to just realize people are the way they are, and leave it at that.
I don’t waste time trying to figure out why people are the way they are. I’ve got better things to do.
Focus on your outcome, and do whatever it takes to get it.
How to Deal with Negativity from Parents
There was a point in my life when I lived at home. It was a negative environment. It was challenging to focus and mature.
I decided to avoid or block out all negativity and replace it with positivity.
In order to avoid interaction, I woke up at 5AM, before anyone was awake, and went to the gym.
I packed my gym bag and work clothes the night before, so I could roll out of bed and go workout.
After my workout, I showered and shaved at the gym and went straight to work.
After work I went to coffee shops to work on Iron and Grit.
When I was at home, I put on my Audio-Technica headphones to block out any noise while I listened to motivational podcasts.
After a few months my entire outlook changed.
I felt better than ever and I looked better than ever. I realized there was nothing holding me back but myself all along.
You see, live isn’t about what happens to you. It’s how you respond to it.
That’s what it means to be responsible. Response-able; you’re ability to respond.
When you can respond to situations thoughtfully and deliberately with an intended positive outcome, that’s maturity.
When I stopped thinking like a boy and started thinking like a responsible man things changed for the better.
I moved into my own apartment and started building my life on my own terms.
How to Deal with Negativity at Work
I’ve been blessed to have great bosses and colleagues.
When I had humble jobs in food service and customer service, I was exposed to a lot of negativity.
Once I began to climb the ladder, negativity is less common.
Probably because successful people adopted the right mindset.
So if you’re struggling at a low wage, unfulfilling job, take ownership. Don’t partake in gossip or bitching. Focus on your work and have a plan to move up.
Find the good in everything and stay positive.
Prioritize Health to Beat Negativity
Happy people are healthy people.
Healthy people are strong and resilient. They don’t succumb to disease or negativity easily.
A healthy body is a healthy mind, and the form ensures the latter.
Cultivate your strength in the gym. Building one’s strength creates character, confidence, self-reliance, and pride.
Not to mention the rush of feel-good chemicals like dopamine and testosterone which are a natural byproduct of regular training.
Eat the Food Nature Intended
Eating the wrong food you physically and mentally sick.
Notice how mental health issues skyrocket and obesity rates increase?
Could you possibly think what effects the body doesn’t effect the mind?
Eat well, learn how to cook, and learn how to read a damn food label.
Feed Your Mind
Your mind is fertile ground.
What ever you plant in it will flourish.
Fill it with trash T.V. and you’ll become trash.
Feed your mind with good books. Listen to motivational podcasts.
It will retrain your brain for the better.
All this positivity overflows into the rest of your life.
Being Productive Breeds Positivity
Ever heard the phrase “idle hands are the devil’s playthings“?
It’s true. When people have too much time on their hands they fuck shit up.
People have a need to be useful. It’s woven in our DNA.
When we aren’t being productive, we become destructive.
Stay busy building things that interest you and continue investing in yourself.
Good health directly effects your quality of life.
You need good health to be productive. You need good health to feel good and do good.
Action is Therapy
Whenever I have a bout with anxiety or feel effects of negative, I know I’m not doing something should be.
At that point, I figure out what I need to do, then I do it. Then my anxiety seems to disappear like magic.
We talked earlier about how people feel inadequate when confronted by insecurity.
Insecurity leads to fear, depression, and anxiety.
If you feel insecure because people are in better shape than you, it’s likely you feel insecure about other things.
Insecurity is common, what’s uncommon is DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
Everyone is insecure about something, often times many things.
That doesn’t matter, what matters is if you do something about it.
If you don’t want to go to the beach because you’re embarrassed to take your shirt off, do something about it.
You know you go to the beach every Summer. Start cutting fat in the Spring.
Don’t Pander to Other People’s Insecurity
Lowering yourself as to not make them feel bad is not good for you or them. Let your light shine.
Being a strong to be a positive influence is infinitely more valuable than joining the pity party.
As long as you show appropriate respect, never worry about making people feel insecure.
If you’re afraid of shining your own light, you will not reach your potential and miss out on opportunities, which may well lead you to become insecure.
If you have trouble connecting or feeling understood in your current cliques, there are millions of communities on the internet to connect you with like minded people. You just have to look. (Take action!)
How to Develop a P.M.A. (Positive Mental Attitude)
Attitude is everything.
Attitude determines how you see people and how people see you.
One thing for sure, is that a positive attitude is always better than a bad attitude.
And having a positive attitude is much easier when you’re strong.
As you begin to look better and feel better, good things will happen. It’s a gradual process, but it is inevitable.
As you transform into a ideal version of yourself, people will drop out from your life naturally. New people will also drop in naturally.
Negativity sheds away naturally.
You should be so focused on building something that this happens organically without much effort at all.
It’s interesting to watch unfold.
Fight Darkness with Light
Your job is to handle negativity from others the best way you can. I’ve found responding with positivity is best policy.
It takes practice. It’s a skill you need to develop.
If it’s too draining to endure, avoidance is also an option.
THIS ARTICLE IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION. CHECK BACK TOMORROW FOR A FINISHED MASTERPIECE.
You can respond to it or take it as feedback that your results are showing.
Just stay the course and do your best. If you never give up, you will keep gaining ground.
I’m not saying you won’t have set backs, because you most likely will.
What I’m saying is it’s a long road and to keep marching until you’re victorious. You never know what’s over the next hill, so be ready for anything.
As you battle to better yourself, people will go out of their way to make you stumble. Just endure it, stay the course and eventually you won’t even notice it.
People that are eat like shit and don’t workout are more likely to be anxious and miserable.
We’re Conditioned to Be Negative
Societies Ideals have Shifted
There seems to be an attitude that after 25 it’s normal for health to degrade.
The reality is that a man doesn’t hit his peak until age 40
It’s just that most men never see a weight room after high school, so instead of thriving physically, they decay.
Whether you’re 18 or 85, your health matters.
In fact, your health matters even more as you age.
Will your health get better or worse tomorrow?
That’s up to you to decide today.
Who cares how much you could bench in high school if you’re a big lard today.
If you want to keep the Reaper at bay and live your best life, a small investment of time and energy lifting weights a few times a week will pay off greatly.
Health is the Gift that Keeps Giving
Staying in top shape is even more important if you’re a family man.
If you’re family man, your health matters to your family. Your family’s wellbeing is directly influenced by your health.
Your ability to provide to them is tied to your health.
Whether you’re an asset or a liability to your loved ones is a serious matter, and you health is a major factor in that matter.
Some things are out of your control, but if you have the ability to exercise, having a sense of duty to do so is never detrimental.
Your kids and grand kids will be grateful for it as you enter your golden years.
Leave a Strong Legacy
You have an opportunity to leave a legacy of strength and self-respect for the kids. They model your actions after all, right?
If you truly love your kids and want the best for them, prove it. Show them. Most of all, show yourself.
There’s nothing more mixed up than parents who make “sacrifices” for their kids’ sake.
Yet they fail to sacrifice the creme brûlée eaten every morning for breakfast and can’t be bothered to skip a soap opera to workout.
Giving up the right things is a win-win for you and your kids.
So what if you used to be sick. I was a sickly kid. I ate like shit and didn’t take care of myself. I stayed up late, woke up early, binged on candy and pop, and wore shorts until Thanksgiving (in Michigan. It’s cold then). No wonder I was sick all the time.
Did I dwell on it? No – I got sick of being sick so I did something about it. It’s possible to build resilience but upkeep is required.
Once I started eating well, working out, and building a career and business, I haven’t been sick in years. I used to get sick two to three times a year.
I learned over time that a little common sense goes a long way.
Unless you’re born with a disease, any chronic illness suffered is typically self induced.
The number of people that complain about their problems is what’s truly sick. Complaints only lead to one thing – more problems.
Complaining brings you down, taking action builds you up.
So, now that we know health matters now more than ever, it’s time to take action…
Flip the Script
You’re in a War whether you know it or not.
Everyday there are people telling you what you should do and how you should think and act.
You can be a lemming and go with it, or you can take up arms and fight back.
How do you fight back?
As you improve you will naturally get more attention.
You have to be able to deal with the attention that comes with self-improvement. If your shy, get used to it, because it will come.
Attention is powerful. In a noisy world having attention is an opportunity to show the world who you are. Take advantage of these opportunities.
After you endured all the bullshit and negative, you can be a positive force in the world. You can stand up to a the negative.
You can bring people to you and take them away from the negative.
The only way to eliminate the negative is to neglect it. Eventually it will starve to death. But we need everyone to focus on the positive.
You can help people. And there’s no better feeling than helping someone who wants to become better.
The best part is, you don’t need a large following to make an impact. Making a positive impact on one person creates a chain reaction where everyone pays it forward.
Look at it this way:
If you have 1000 followers on Instagram, and those 1000 followers have 1000 followers. It only takes your followers and your followers followers to repeat your message and it reaches 1,000,000,000 people! #maths
Healthy Body is a Healthy Mind
Negativity comes in many shapes and forms.
Once you realize most of it comes from fear, ignorance and jealousy, it loses it’s punch.
Most small talk is negative. We’re brought into a negative world from day one.
And unless you make a conscious effort to fight it, it will grab hold of you.
Now that you’re ready to take action to better your health, there’s something important to know.
We are surrounded by negativity every moment of every day.
This is true even though we live in the greatest time ever experienced by human beings.
The Ancients dreamed of a Golden Era where resources were plenty and collective consciousness was high – and we are getting there. It’s better now than it’s ever been.
The negative news media is full of fear-mongers.
This type of attitude is why most men begin to rot after age 25.
Don’t mind them though. Their actions are a coping mechanism to make themselves feel better.
Why step up went I can just pull others down with more ease? This is a philosophy of the unenlightened. Fools don’t know that building up others is how you build up yourself.
Life is a team sport. No one makes it alone. Self-made is a myth.
It’s your job to play your position and be damn good at it so you can help others along the way.
Most don’t see it this way though, so it’s your job to handle it.
While on your journey to better yourself you will meet resistance. How you handle resistance will play a big factor in your success.
People will comment on your new healthy choices.
No matter how much you try not to bring attention to it, they will notices.
They notice because they know what they are doing is not ideal.
When you eat a grilled chicken breast salad for lunch with a light vinaigrette, but your friend orders a loaded baked potato, they may get self-conscious and make an off-beat comment.
Keep it light hearted and laugh along.
We all make choices in life. Own yours.
Keep it light hearted and laugh along.
We all make choices in life. Own yours.
While on your journey to better yourself you will meet resistance. How you handle resistance will play a big factor in your success.
People will comment on your new healthy choices.
No matter how much you try not to bring attention to it, they will notices.
They notice because they know what they are doing is not ideal.
When you eat a grilled chicken breast salad for lunch with a light vinaigrette, but your friend orders a loaded baked potato, they may get self-conscious and make an off-beat comment.
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